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What is Self-Love and how can you cultivate this in your life?




Self-Love is a concept that has gained significant attention in recent years and for very good reason. However, it’s more than just a buzzword or a trendy phrase - it is a fundamental aspect of our overall wellbeing and happiness.


But the idea of Self-Love has gained some negative traction throughout the years due to what society has decided to portray it, which sadly has warped the idea of how to look after our own wellbeing as a priority. 


 In this blog we will delve into the meaning of Self-Love by covering the following topics: 


What is Self-Love?

Why is Self-Love important?

How to cultivate Self-Love?

Journal prompts to help you create more Self-Love into your life 

Final thoughts



What is Self-Love? 


At its core, Self-Love is the practice of caring for and truly valuing yourself. It involves acknowledging your worth, embracing your flaws and treating yourself with kindness and compassion.


Self-Love is not about arrogance or selfishness at all, instead it is about having a healthy and positive relationship with yourself. It is ultimately about prioritising your needs, respecting your own boundaries and putting this into practice every single day.




Why is Self-Love Important? 



Improved mental health

 Self-Love is closely tied to mental wellbeing. When you love and truly accept yourself, you're less likely to struggle with issues like anxiety depression and low self esteem. It can build your confidence by accepting yourself and in turn creating more happiness, contentment and inner peace. 


 Better relationships 

Loving yourself sets the foundations for healthier relationships with others. When you treat yourself with respect, hold your boundaries and have self compassion, you are more likely to demand and attract the same from others. 


 Increased Resilience

 Self-Love provides the strength to bounce back from setbacks and challenges. It fuels your inner resilience, making you more capable of handling life’s ups and downs. This comes down to having more compassion for yourself and forgiving yourself quickly instead of being too hard on yourself. 


Pursuit of Goals

 When you love yourself, you are more likely to pursue your dreams and passions, believing that you truly deserve success and happiness. Working on your self worth and knowing what you deserve creates more drive to create the life you want because deep down you know that you are worthy of more, whether that be in your career, personal goals or relationships.




How to Cultivate More Self-Love in your Life 


Practice self compassion 

Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend facing a difficult situation. Be gentle with yourself when you make mistakes. We as humans tend to be so hard on ourselves and have a lot of negative inner dialogue. Remove the negative dialogue and replace it with kind and compassionate words of affirmations to rewire your brain to create more self compassion. 


TIP: Talk to yourself as if you would your own best friend. Words are so powerful so be mindful of the way you talk to yourself. 


Set Healthy Boundaries 

 Learn to say no when necessary, and prioritise your wellbeing. Setting boundaries is a powerful is a powerful act of Self-Love. This can be a struggle for most of us, more so the people pleasers out there! Saying no can be the hardest word, because you don’t want to let someone down, or you don’t voice your opinion because it is easier just to ‘go with the flow’. This is actually an act of self-sabotage which can lead to inner frustration and eventually resentment towards the friendship, relationship or whatever situation you find yourself in. Maintaining healthy boundaries is the ultimate act of Self-Love you can do for yourself. 


TIP: Start small, and slowly increase your boundaries once you become more confident in this. 


Embrace Self care 

 Prioritise your self care activities that nurture your mind, body and soul. This could include exercise, meditation, hobbies or simplify taking time to relax. Listening to your body and tapping into your intuition is the best way to know what your body is asking for. If you need to rest, then rest. If you need to move your body then exercise. If you are feeling disconnected, connect with trusted friends and family. Acting on your self care activities is the ultimate form of self love. You are respecting yourself and nurturing your beautiful body.


TIP: Incorporate small changes into your routine so that you don't feel overwhelmed at the beginning. Just by taking 10 minutes out of your day to mediate regularly can work wonders on your mental wellbeing.


 Forgiveness 

Forgive yourself for past mistakes and let go of grudges. Holding onto resentment or guilt hinders your ability to love yourself fully. The sooner you can let go of the past, the happier you will feel. You may think this is easier said than done but it comes back to having more self compassion. When you cultivate self compassion you create a deeper understanding about yourself which allows for quicker forgiveness. 


TIP: Journalling is a fantastic tool to release and let go of the past and using words to be kinder to yourself. You can start by writing a letter to yourself forgiving yourself for past mistakes. 


Seek Support 

 It is ok to seek help from friends, family or a therapist if you are struggling with Self-Love. Sometimes an outside perspective can provide valuable insights. When you have abandoned yourself for so long it seems impossible to know where to start and learning to love yourself again can feel like a monumental task. Reaching out to a coach, healer or therapist can create that space for you to see that it is possible and can guide you on that journey to cultivating Self-Love into your life again. 


TIP: Find a coach or healer that you resonate with and that you can trust to guide you through this journey with compassion and understanding and have patience to know that this takes time. Healing through this journey is a marathon not a sprint!




Journal Prompts for Cultivating More Self Love into your Life


  1. What is my self care routine, if I don’t have one what can I incorporate into my routine to create more self love? 

2. What am I proud of myself for?

3. How am I treating my body with love and respect? What changes can I make to improve this?

4. What do I need to forgive myself for? 

5. When do I feel happiest and how can I include more of this into my daily/weekly routine?

6. How can I set boundaries for myself? 

7. Who/ what makes me feel most loved and why? 

8. What are my best personal qualities? 

9. How can I show my inner child more love? 

10. How can I create more time for myself?

11. What is my biggest achievement?

12. What are 5 things about myself that I love? 

13. What negative inner dialogue do I need to release and let go of?

14. What self love affirmations can I incorporate into my day? Think of 3-5 affirmations you can say to yourself every morning

15. What places, people or things are you grateful for and why? 

16. Equally what places, people or things do not make you feel good and why? Think about how you can remove these or limit it from your life

17. What activities and hobbies do you do that make you feel good? How can you do more of this on a regular basis?

18. What personal goals do you have for yourself this year and why? How can you work towards them in order to create more self love and a sense of achievement 

19. In what situations have you been neglecting yourself and losing self respect? 20. How can you start putting yourself first and creating more self respect?

21. What do you really need to hear right now?




In a world that often emphasises external validation Self-Love is a powerful and necessary counterbalance. It is not selfish or indulgent to love and care for yourself - it is essential for your wellbeing. It doesn’t mean rejecting your relationships and being selfish, but actually how can you show up for yourself more and incorporate more self love into the relationships you already have. It is a fine balance of loving yourself and having the space to love others equally.


By practicing Self-Love you can build a foundation of resilience, happiness and healthier relationships. By truly discovering what makes you happy and what love means to you, it can help you in finding deeper connections and deeper more profound love for others. Remember Self-Love is a beautiful journey back to you, and it is never too late to start. 




Final Thoughts


How far do you agree with this statement?… 


 The depth that you love others is equal to the depth that you love yourself.



Let me know your thoughts in the comments below and follow me on socials for more topics like this. 


If you enjoyed this post, share it with others who might benefit from understanding the importance of self love and how to cultivate it in their lives. 

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